Why Do I Keep Sinning?

If I sin then feel remorse, why do I relent and yet sin again? Is it not enough to ask forgiveness, to petition God “Destroy my desire against you”! Oh would that I please him, and release my desire for darkness’ disguise of light.

Todd Beal

Repentance is not remorse. I can have remorse all day everyday for a sin that I perpetually commit, but until I repent of it – turn my back on it – I will delightfully return to indulge in my desire, for the moment, and then once again despise my self-inflicted misery. I may ask forgiveness to escape my life-sucking sink hole of remorse, but repenting of that sin for which I ask forgiveness requires nothing less than a change of heart.

If I indeed want God, then I must love him more than the sin I hate.


About Todd Beal

I love truth and its facts. I love thought-provoking conversations that give both the other person and me a better understanding of a particular topic. I love to find answers to life-long questions; answers that let me see things for what they are instead of what they seem to be. I truly enjoy being in the midst of a group of people where all individuals are joining in, where everybody is enjoying the company of each other. I relax in the company of individuals who are competent yet humble. I like to catch myself doing or saying something ridiculous and then laugh my head off. I enjoy my church and being involved.
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12 Responses to Why Do I Keep Sinning?

  1. Todd,

    Once again your very few words speak volumes. I would hesitate to add much to this. It really does come down to desire, and desires are often deeper than our conscious thought. That’s why soul-searching prayer and meditation are necessary to get at the root of what our souls REALLY want, and orient them toward God.


    • Todd Beal says:


      Absolutely. And what a clear and incredibly true explanation. Your statement gets to the heart of self-honesty – truly addressing our soul’s desire: seeking God with our whole self, the heart and soul of personal-development.


  2. Lance Ponder says:

    “If I indeed want God, then I must love him more than the sin I hate.”

    While that phrase has a romantic lilt, I don’t care much for it. Sorry, but that’s how I feel. Here’s why. You were doing great up to that point. You spoke about repentance, and what you said was right. We must turn from the sin, not just have an emotion or even an epiphany about it. It is a choice – an action. While we may not accomplish this action on our own, God grants us ownership and thus responsibility for our action. Love is a verb – and a choice. Just like forgiveness is a choice, not an emotion. I don’t hold to the “decision gospel” – but that does not mean I don’t believe our decisions are vitally important. Not an intellectual agreement, but a fresh realignment – becoming the new creation or being born again or what have you. To be transformed by the renewing of our minds involves the revelation and infusion of Truth, but we must submit, admit, and commit. That which is to be boasted of lies not with us, yet we are participants with responsibility.

    Your sentence which I said I did not care for is true enough at least in a sense, but I was taken aback by the distillation which to me robbed it of its power. To love God is to believe, submit and obey. God tells us to seek Him, to know Him. Hating sin is not in conflict with loving God. If it is, then we self-hate because we are in sin.

    I hope only to help you understand my reaction so I trust you’ll receive my comments as intended. I truly thrive on what you write and your iron sharpens mine. I seek only to return the favor. God bless you, brother, and keep up the excellent work.


    • Todd Beal says:


      The point of that last sentence; I can hate a particular sin in my life all day long, even though I naturally desire to commit it, but hating that sin does not mean that I love God enough to repent of it. Do you love God completely – I don’t, nor does anyone else. If we did, we would not continually repeat the same sin. It is not enough to hate a sin we have not spiritually conquered. If we are to love God, then we must love him to the point of repenting of that sin.

      For example, a “newborn” Christian has yet to conquer his alcoholism, drugs, etc. He hates what they do to him both physically and spiritually, but for some reason he won’t let them go despite his desire for God. In the end, his hate for that sin doesn’t matter, only his choice for them over God. So why doesn’t he repent of them? He doesn’t because he loves their immediate pleasure more than he loves God, even though he hates the sin. Each time we repent of a sin (some may call it a stronghold) we do it because we choose to love God more than the sin we hate. We cannot both sin against God and simultaneously love God with that same area. We must choose one or the other, and choosing God over sin is repentance.

      Hopefully, this clears up any misunderstanding. By the way Lance, I write this not from theory but from personal experience.

      Also, thanks for your ending paragraph. After all, a true friend always has his friend’s best interest in mind. You are my friend, and unlike most people I have encountered, your comments are not meant to cut my legs out from under me, but to help build me up.

      Proverbs 9:7-10 NASB

      [7] He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself,
      And he who reproves a wicked man gets insults for himself.

      [8] Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you,
      Reprove a wise man and he will love you.

      [9] Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser,
      Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning.

      [10] The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
      And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.


      • Lance Ponder says:


        Thanks, bro. I can sense the emotional energy in the original statement and I appreciate you sharing your heart on this matter. I also appreciate your understanding of where I was coming from. Don’t slow down just because I throw you a curve – I love your work. God bless you.



  3. JWTX says:

    I have seen the Divine here on Earth, an Angel came to me when I was five. For even though I had seen him. I am not special one bit I still had to learn very awful bad behavior from my own Mother & Father and cousins who did bad lustful sins. I cursed the Heavens and God The Almighty at the age 30 something for I blamed him for letting men and boys do bad things to me as a little girl of 2-3 years old that he could have stopped them but did not, for that I knelt down to my knees and begged for mercy I scared the hell right out me that day. Lord God Please forgive my transgressions for I am not worthy but I only have to say the words please Lord hear my prayer and thy will be granted Amen.


    • Todd Beal says:


      I want to tell you how truly sorry I am that you were forced to endure those awful experiences. It truly is a miracle that you ultimately accepted God despite your abuse, and for that I am thankful. Thanks a lot for telling your story and for asking God to come into your heart.

      A regular visitor here on Truth Behind Reality – her name is Angela – was also abused as a child, all the way up until age 22. I recommend you read her personal story here.


  4. ladijm says:

    I have had a problem for a long time, and have searched for answers about why I keep committing a certain sin. Some might not call it a sin, but I feel it is, and when it happens I feel so bad that I have once again allowed the devil to do this to me. I get really sick behind it. I pray and cry out to God to please forgive me and I believe that he does, because his word says he will. But I still get really sick behind it. Today I thought there must be an answer to my question and I found your site, I read it and wept because I knew it was for me after all of the years. I believe that I can change this horrible sin, now that I have an answer. I know that God loves sinners, but I also know that God hates sin, and I don’t want any sin in my life if I can help it. So thank you Mr. Beal for your insght.


    • ladijm says:

      what is modertion


    • Todd Beal says:


      I apologize for the late reply, I had to take some time off for awhile.

      If we all were honest, we would each say, “I have a reoccurring sin also, and I am ashamed of it.” And I will say that we will always have some personal vice with which to contend until that awesome day Jesus comes to take us home. In the meantime, we simply need to pray, pray, pray, and read the scriptures as if our life depends on it, because it really does. Ask God for his provision of faith, and ask him to reveal his truth to you. He will give it to you.

      I sure am thankful that this post could be of help.



  5. Mindy johnson says:

    I have this problem with pornography and masterbation. I’ve tried and tried. But, I can’t get these things off of my mind. Is it because I was sexually abused when I was a child? Please help me?


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