Being At Your Best – Feeling Self-Confident

The feeling of self-confidence is not necessarily the prerequisite to, or result of, being at your best.

Todd Beal

Self-confidence is not the measure of competence; it is a lack of self-doubt, the inner assuredness of one’s ability. Competence is the wherewithal to carry through based on one’s ability and skill. We can feel self-confident yet lack competence; on the other hand, a person can be competent without an associated feeling of self-confidence.

A public speaker, for example, may have the greatest self-confidence imaginable, walking fully upright with shoulders square, dressed for success, and well-spoken with a commanding voice. On one particular speaking engagement, a public figure who was obviously at ease with being the center of attention, addressed a packed house. Strangely, one by one, the audience members began to yawn and look around; some got up from their seat and walked for the exit, others fell fast asleep. The self-confident speaker looked good, sounded good, but delivered no substance and the audience responded accordingly. The following week, a different public speaker – well-known to suffer from stage fright – addressed the same crowd on the same topic but with average clothes and walked with a slightly embarrassing limp. After the closing remarks, the audience members spontaneously stood to their feet with a deafening applause of gratitude. The speaker tried to leave but their applause grew louder and louder in hopes of hearing more from this humble person. They were so thankful for the truth and wisdom they received, for the true sincerity of someone who was scared to death even to stand up there, let alone speak to them.

All too often, we choose our mate, our friends, and public leaders, based not on their substance – the backbone of competence – but instead on how they appear, including their level of self-confidence. Self-confidence is appealing; it is desirable and often necessary, but is an asset only when accompanied by authenticity, humility, substance – competence.

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About Todd Beal

I love truth and its facts. I love thought-provoking conversations that give both the other person and me a better understanding of a particular topic. I love to find answers to life-long questions; answers that let me see things for what they are instead of what they seem to be. I truly enjoy being in the midst of a group of people where all individuals are joining in, where everybody is enjoying the company of each other. I relax in the company of individuals who are competent yet humble. I like to catch myself doing or saying something ridiculous and then laugh my head off. I enjoy my church and being involved.
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39 Responses to Being At Your Best – Feeling Self-Confident

  1. Indeed my so-called confidence, at least as a Christian is sensing and knowing “existentially”.. that somehow I am caught-up in this place of God’s grace & glory. In theological language, this is that place of the eschatological grace of God, moving and changing me/us, as members of that Body of Christ. And that Body-Life is much more than a metaphor! ‘Faith, hope & love’

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    • Todd Beal says:

      Fr. Robert, within your daily tasks or responsibilities apart from the church, how would you apply this post to yourself, to everyday life?

      I fully understand that from a spiritual aspect what you say is true, but we are more than our spirit. We also have a human personality that feels self-confident or not, is competent or not, feels depressed or happy, and on and on. Jesus experienced all these things just as we do, and I am confident that his every waking moment was not entirely consumed with scripture study, preaching to the masses, teaching his disciples, or rebuking the scribes and Pharisees.

      Something tells me that he felt despair just like you and just like me. Something also tells me he felt triumph from a job well done, just as you and I do. He had to learn how to develop his human personality just like us because he too was human. We can have the closest possible relationship with God, but that cannot remove the physical fact that each of us, while on this earth, has an inborn unique personality that does not take care of itself, nor will it. That’s our job, and without an honest and sometimes painful look in the mirror, that personality becomes stubborn like a mule, procrastinating like the perpetual layabout, close-minded except for those things we enjoy and naturally understand, domineering because we don’t monitor our own behavior, manipulative because we feel deserving, and judgmental because we make too many mistakes and then see them in others. This applies to Christians just as much as, if not more than, everyone else. We believe that, if I pray and “seek God’s will”, study the Bible with utmost sincerity, and remain ever faithful in my church attendance, that’s all I need, and my personality is the last thing in the world that I need to worry about.

      All we need do to prove that point is ask the person intimately closest to us, “Be completely honest. What do I need to change to improve my behavior toward you and others?”

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      • Todd,

        I am not one for much self-help, or even human psychology myself. Funny though I have had several college courses on sexual psychology, to try and help in working with people and their sexual problems, etc. I say this as a priest, etc.

        With my past and history as one that was a Royal Marine officer, and one involved in Spl Op’s (I had two early tours but with broken time in between -that’s when I was a Benedictine for a few years – my mid 20’s, but then I went into back into the Reserves RMC’s therein, but there was often not much reserve time sometimes. I was one of the only ordained clergy, my day job, that was both a priest & theologian, that was not a chaplain (though there some later) I was a recon officer. And I had well over ten years, not counting my first two tours.) I say this, for it obviously effects my life and thinking. Sooo, maybe ya get the picture better of me? I had really two careers, one as a priest/theologian.. and one as a Royal Marine Commando. And they intertwined. I went to Gulf War 1 in my early 40’s. But all that is kinda over now, but it still affects my thinking, and who I am! – Btw, that is one of the reasons, that both of my sons were born in my 40’s. I am a later bloomer, with family! 🙂

        Finally, I see the Christian life within the tension of the ‘already and not yet’ of the Christian Eschaton. The existential aspect and understanding posits the eschaton right down in the centre of the Christian’s life…an event right now in the here and now, to be experienced by the Christian person. So in effect the eschaton started in Christ and the effects are continuing into our present life and reality, of course this is for those “In Christ”. A theological, but also mystical life for the Christian. And here we can see the biblical theology of St. Paul.

        Sorry, this is sort of quick! 🙂

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        • Todd,

          I also have a more theological view of Christ as both God & Man. Christ’s humanity is always inbedded within His Godhood or Deity. The “two natures [are], inconfusedly, unchangebly, indivisibly, inseparably…One Person and one Subsistence” (to quote part of the Definition of the Council of Chalcedon. Thus the deity & humanity of Christ can never be really separate. The Incarnate Christ died upon the Cross! Note, the hypostatic union of Christ in theology, which was elaborated by St. Cyril of Alexandria.

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        • Todd Beal says:

          Fr. Robert, the point I am really trying make here is that whether we are naturally inclined to study and develop our own personality or not, the choice to take an honest look at our self is not a benign elective, as in high school. Our personality is unique to us, and in a sense is us. Therefore, just like an automobile, if we simply ignore it, it begins to malfunction and break down. The critical nature of this problem is that our personality affects not just us, but others as well.

          I know a good many men who also are not into psychology or self-development, but often times these are the very men that hurt others with their behavior everyday. These are Christian men with good intentions, but because they consider it foolish to take a look at their own behavior, they foolishly wreak havoc on the very people they claim to love and protect. Who is going to protect these people from those men?

          I understand where you’re coming from concerning the soldier side of you.  I know you experienced some horrific things, too horrific to tell anyone, but that doesn’t mean you must also ignore your personality as it applies today.

          Regarding your view on Jesus Humanity/Deity, Jesus was fully human, and Jesus was fully God. But, Jesus’ humanity was fallen because he was human like us. The Bible makes very clear that Jesus did not sin but it also shows that he wept, became angry, felt compassion, developed reasoning and logic, learned obedience both as a child and through Satan’s temptation, became hungry, and also grew weary. Jesus humanity was not perfected/transformed until he rose from the dead, as will happen to us in the rapture. While on this earth, he was human in every sense of the word (except sinless), even though he was Lord God Almighty. That is why we can rest assured that, “No matter how broken I am, regardless of what I do, Jesus personally understands and can fix it.” He is both God who created humanity and simultaneously the human whom he himself created; he created and experienced his own fallen human self, perfected it in his resurrection from the dead, then reconciled his perfected human self back unto himself (as God) within heaven after the ascension. Wrap your mind around that one.

          He understands what it means to be a weak human being; he was born with a unique human personality just as we are. The difference being, his spirit was God and ours is not.

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          • Todd,

            I in no way believe Jesus was sinful, or took on human nature like us of a sinful being or ontology. No, this is simply not possible for God even incarnate! Only on the cross did Jesus in some way become “Sin” for us.. “The just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God.” (1 Pet. 3:18) 🙂 You might want to read some of the Ecumenical Councils, especially Chalcedon?

            As to the former question, I am not one for the psychological bio of today. Certainly we Christians need to be introspective, and even intuitive, but not really in the modern psychological sense. To my mind, modern psychotherapy has been an overall failure! I speak about having someone probe another. Certainly there is need for the human touch and the pastoral, both lay and the clergy. My best “practitioner” was my human Father, who is now with the Lord.

            In the end, however, each of us must stand alone with ourselves, and with our God! My thoughts at least. 🙂

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            • Todd,

              I am not negating some aspects of clinical psychology, but psychotherapy is a whole different subject really. Again, these are my thoughts at least. 🙂

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            • Todd Beal says:

              Fr. Robert, I have not mentioned clinical psychology or psychotherapy on this blog.  The majority of Truth Behind Reality blog content focuses on personality, which, by itself, has nothing to do with clinical psychology or psychotherapy.  These two systems of thought are not person-based first, but try to fit all people into one of various theoretical models (with a lot a junk crammed in between).  I cannot understand how you picked up the notion that I am speaking of visiting a psychologist (albeit I am not opposed to psychology).  To date, I cannot recall a single statement of mine that comes close to saying that.  I do however repeatedly stress the importance of taking an honest look inside, even if its painful: “Am I stubborn?  If yes, then I need to remind myself that stubborn destroys resolve, and removes productivity.  Am I a jerk toward others but feel they deserve it because they annoy me?  If yes, then I need to realize that I am the problem and not anyone else is.”  The majority of men see no problem with this behavior when it comes from them, but they dress for battle if someone dare behave that way in return.  This behavior is childish and foolish, and has no right place in a person’s life.  Eliminating this type of behavior/mindset is self-development, working on one self, working on one’s personality, etc.  Really, it is not rocket science and it is certainly not psychological mumbo-jumbo.  The only reason that modern psychotherapy (and psychology) has been an overall failure, is that first, fellowship with God is missing from the picture, and second, these psychologists and psychotherapists know theory and methods but don’t have a clue when it comes to human personality (generally, not universally speaking).

              Working on our own personality is no less practical than changing the oil on our automobile.  We can drive our car without oil, but only for a while.  We can ignore our personality and call it foolishness, but only until we have driven away the very ones we care about and loneliness settles in their wake.

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            • Todd,

              This is just the next step and logical conclusion to many, as today in modern pyschology, etc. I am not one that believes in too much introspection, at least as an introversion, etc. This for the Christian can only be wrought in Scripture reading, prayer, and to my mind the sacramental life of the Church. So I was looking at the overt introversion perhaps. Always the balance, etc. 🙂

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          • Todd Beal says:

            Fr. Robert,

            So I ask, can you become acutely aware of a grouchy attitude undermining your Christian witness, simply by reading your Bible and praying? I know many a Christian missionary who cannot accomplish this, even through hours of earnest prayer before God; why, because they are not open to taking a hard look inside. I regularly see church pastors that proclaim scripture during the message but unfairly demean their children after the service and at home. Evangelical church history is full of pastors’ children that grow up not feeling loved.  You can stay on your knees with your head in your Bible praying down heaven, but if you refuse to introspect on your own behavior, your fellowship with God will suffer, and consequently so will your relationship with others.

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            • Todd,

              I did not say ever, or never to introspection, but this can be overdone also, i.e. introversion. Remember mate I was a Benedictine monastic for a few years in my 20’s. Balance, in Christ, and the Christian life is always neccesary. And for the most part, there is a real spiritual deficiency in general Evangelicalism, toward the reality of the sacramental life. This has been my experience anyway. Of course I am more of a sacramentalist, as Anglo-Catholic, etc. 🙂

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            • Todd Beal says:

              Fr. Robert,

              I take your mention of Benedictine monastic to mean that that life is overly lopsided, and further, that you equate “too much” introspection with that monastic lifestyle.  Am I on target or not?

              I realize that we are now officially off topic, but I am interested in hearing more of your thoughts concerning spiritual deficiency in general Evangelicalism, the sacraments, etc.

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            • Todd,

              No, the monastic life can be good, but one should have some kind of spiritual direction, it was also a community life. But sometimes the monk can be too introspect. As has become much of modern psychology, in my opinion.

              As to modern western Evangelicalism, it is for the most part a-drift, off into biblicism at best, and the “emergent” church at worst, etc. Certainly the Bible, but not “fundamentalism”. There is a great need for both a kind of liturgy, and spiritual, biblical-theological authority in many of the Evanglical Churches. Simply, the Church must be historical- theological-spiritual.

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            • Todd Beal says:

              Fr. Robert,

              I am well aware of the emergent church. I am also aware of the uncanny similarity between it and the Nazi-friendly (pagan-friendly) German church that Dietrich Bonhoeffer so adamantly spoke against. However, your view of Biblicism is not clear to me. Is that a good thing in your eyes or is that a negative?

              Also, are you referring to biblical-theological authority as the reestablishment of authoritative Biblical doctrine, thus replacing today’s “free-for-all” belief system smorgasbord?

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            • Todd,

              Biblicism can be good or bad, based upon how we use it. As you know I am a theological-biblicist, but also one formed by the Church…a “Churchman”. And theology must be informed also by the historical Church of God, that Church we call Catholic & Orthodox. My thoughts anyway.

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          • Todd Beal says:

            Fr. Robert,

            What would you determine as bad Biblicism, as an example? Why must theology be informed by the historical Church of God (Catholic/Orthodox)? The early church fathers built the church without either the Catholic or Orthodox Church.

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          • Todd Beal says:

            Fr. Robert,

            | And Biblicism without the Church Fathers, is simply the “bad”. |

            In other words, you are saying that biblical literalism (the interpretation or translation of the explicit and primary sense of words in the Bible) is unfounded apart from being directly influenced by the writings of the Orthodox/Catholic Church fathers; correct or incorrect?

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            • Todd,

              Yes, indeed any interpretation of the Holy Scripture that would cast aside the Church and the Church Father’s…is “bad” (or poor) teaching. Note, Acts 2:42 / 1 Tim. 3:15. Now one might find the literal meaning of a Text or Texts, and this might find itself also with the Church and Church Father’s, etc. But we cannot get outside the Catholic and Orthodox Church, if we would be Faithful to God; both Holy Scripture & Holy Tradition. (Note, 2 Thess. 2:15 ; 3:6 / 1 Cor. 11:2)..These were God given oral traditions.

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          • Todd Beal says:

            Fr. Robert,

            I’m with you. If something is true now, it was true throughout history – and vice versa.

            So, what are we to do in those cases where church doctrine/church writings (dogma, or the official church stance) is actually not scriptural – i.e. absolute Papal authority, knowing that you broke away from the Catholic Church because of it being non-scriptural. What advice would you give someone who, while searching out the scriptures for his or her self, stumbled upon an ‘absolute Papal authority’ equivalent church writing that clearly violated scripture?

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            • Todd,

              Well for conscience sake, and the God of Truth.. one can only stand with truth. But none of us understand completely nor even correctly, so it can be a relative thing. There are many fine Catholic Christians, and even some Popes also. For example, I have liked both Ratzinger..Pope Benedict, and John Paul the II. Both good Christian men in my regard. But not infallible, even in the Church.

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          • Todd Beal says:

            Fr. Robert,

            My asking about the infallibility of our Church Fathers was driven by the very answer you gave: “But none of us understand completely nor even correctly, so it can be a relative thing” – even the Church Fathers can both get it wrong and get it right, just like we individuals who fail and succeed.

            Here is my ending point to this conversation: Human beings are fallible, but God is infallible, including the truth given through scripture. There exists no human governing body (past, present, or future), religious or otherwise, that authoritatively ruled/rules while escaping human fallibility. Even Peter and Paul – the epitome of Jesus’ apostles – hotly debated one another and ultimately split ways (for a time). At one point or another, someone’s human bias enters the picture and corrupts the truth or severely hampers it. However, God said in Isaiah 55:10-11 [ESV]; [10] “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, [11] so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. God gives us scripture after scripture for testing truth, both in a group setting and separately as individuals (e.g. I John 4, your scripture submission for the post, “How Do We Test for Truth”).

            Whatever the case, I believe that human fallibility is just one major reason we are to fellowship with each other, double checking each other’s adherence to truth, even if that means challenging the official church position. No human is infallible, but all humans were designed to personally hear, understand, and accept truth, providing one first accepts Jesus into his or her heart and willfully remains open to accepting the truth as God gives it.

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  2. Another great one, Todd.

    Thank you for making clear distinctions between self-confidence and competence. Competence is neither good nor evil, it is simply “wherewithal”, as you put it. Self-confidence, on the other hand, can have a good/evil value, depending on the amount of humility present. On the good side, it can be associated with either competence or faith (I may not feel personally competent to do the task at hand, but know that with God’s help I CAN do it). Confidence can extend well beyond the range where competence ends, turning into unsubstantiated arrogance. On the other end of the spectrum, Christ has shown that humility (as synonymous with “meekness”) and confidence are not mutually exclusive.

    Our culture tends to idolize extremes in competence and confidence, finding charisma in rare talents and skills. Our greatest admiration, however, is reserved for those who sincerely attribute their successes to a higher source, and a lack of humility turns us off. Case in point is NBA star LeBron James, who has no equal on a basketball court, and he knows it. He is almost universally despised for his evident superiority complex and inability to identify with and respect average human beings. The fault is not all James’s, though, because he has been treated like deity since childhood because of his talents. Eventually, age will bring incompetence in his chosen field, and he will struggle with the transition.

    Again, our paramount example is the Master, who had the required competence to both create and redeem the world, yet thought nothing of washing the feet of his disciples, striking up conversations with detested Samaritan women, and submitting to death on a cross when he could have called legions of angels down on his enemies.

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    • Mike,

      And the power of that life.. that is our example, is Christ living within us..taking ‘Our Cross’, self-denial and that pressure of a world that simply does not know Him, and here we will feel that persecution.. and even rejection, because of Christ. Any other suffering, at least in the world is common to all, but not the suffering because of Christ, note 2 Cor. 4:7-11. To suffer as a “Christian” is something the West has long forgotten! Now perhaps it is more an ideological thing. But even here it can and should be real! May we step up and take our place, as “Christ” lives and moves within us! I have noted for me at least, that I do seek to make this an ideological and thus theological reality! Lord help me! May this be Christ, and not my pet-peeve. Amen

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    • Todd Beal says:

      | Confidence can extend well beyond the range where competence ends, turning into unsubstantiated arrogance. On the other end of the spectrum, Christ has shown that humility (as synonymous with “meekness”) and confidence are not mutually exclusive. |

      Michael, yet again your comment fits hand in hand with the post, and I especially enjoyed the rock solid statement above.

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    • Lance Ponder says:

      You make excellent points complimenting and extending the thoughts of the main post. I was going to say something about how confidence rightly placed is good, but self-confidence not so much. But I think you said it better. Thanks for contributing. I always learn so much from the interaction here and from your well reasoned and thought out comments in particular.

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  3. Lance Ponder says:

    Todd, another fine post you’ve gotten us into. 😉 This is a very thought provoking piece. I think that in general you’ve nailed it. That said, I think we can definitely build on it for discussion, as Michael and Fr Robert have already done. I think the initial statements about the distinctions between confidence and competence are very important. When viewed through the spiritual lens both qualities come up short if they stand alone. For example, did the frumpy speaker scratch itching ears and the snazzy guy only naval-gaze? I think it was Dr King who said something about judging by character? 😀

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    • Todd Beal says:

      | When viewed through the spiritual lens both qualities come up short if they stand alone. |

      Yes, I agree, Lance. Just as I said on another post, working on the various aspects of our personality, including the competence factor, always falls short apart from God’s direction in the matter. But ironically, as I stated in my reply to Fr. Robert’s first comment, Christians are often just as guilty (if not more so) than non-Christians because we are taught that forgiveness somehow miraculously takes the place of self-development.

      This should be the first thing for which we ask God’s direction. Our human personality is fallen, but it won’t build itself.

      How would you say that competence is buildable, taking into account the personality aspect?  I am addressing you, Lance, but the question is open to everyone.

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  4. Lance Ponder says:

    //How would you say that competence is buildable, taking into account the personality aspect?//

    As a long time corporate and vocational instructor I say slap yourself in the chair and pay attention. You might learn something. LOL. No, seriously… I think competence comes from a combination of learning and experience. It is more than knowledge, or at least more than intellectual knowledge. Competence is adaptable (always learning), aware of external factors, yet authentically internal. The word implies a certain sufficiency of skill and/or talent to be useful, though it does not necessarily imply great expertise. In fact, without additional qualifiers competence suggests adequacy which is less than excellence.

    Paul used various sports metaphors to encourage believers to excel to and beyond competence in Godliness. Paul was not satisfied with spiritual competence. I doubt such was within his vocabulary. He spoke most eloquently of an attitude of outward humility surrounding an inner fire striving for perfection. Paul spoke of excellence. He was an encourager. He never encouraged mere competence. He did, however, speak of confidence, though it was confidence founded on the indwelling rock of our salvation rather than the corrupt man we call self. It is an internal confidence, but not self-confidence. Paul spoke of starting with the basics, but not stopping there. He encouraged spiritual maturity, scripture study, prayer, personal responsibility, and service. Jesus commanded Peter to feed his sheep and to go and make disciples – two ways of saying the same thing.

    Another metaphor I might employ as a former frequent traveler relates to the oxygen masks the stewardesses so dutifully demonstrate at the start of each flight. Always put the mask on yourself then help your children. Jesus said that when the blind lead the blind they both fall in the pit. And so it is. Once you are fed you can feed others. You need not be full to begin and in fact you cannot wait until you’re full to begin, however you must open your mouth if the Spirit is to speak through it. The Spirit recalls what you have learned (what you’ve been fed) and helps you feed others. Spiritual competence is built through study and obedience which the Spirit uses to draw you closer, increase your fruit, and make you a more fit runner to reach the prize, as Paul would say. Or, as in my plane metaphor, trust in the Pilot to bring us safely to our destination. 😉

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    • I’m on board with this, Lance. Nothing provoked Jesus’ righteous indignation more than the hypocritical pharisees always looking for ticky-tack violations of the “letter” of the law, while the spirit languished. I like what Todd said above about Jesus being human. He had to eat, rest, and re-create just like we do. I believe he was trying to show us how to be human, not a higher primate or homo sapiens, but child-of-Almighty-God human. He didn’t need to spend a lot of time showing us how to gain competence, because we have the commandments and natural laws to show us that. More effectively, he showed us how to use power and competence once gained. He showed us that its best use is to lift up the downtrodden and light the way for those who are still in darkness.

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  5. Todd Beal says:

    When I speak of competence, I mean being capable, being qualified, having one’s act together. To put it in everyday language, “I never have to worry about him doing a good job; he’s just plain competent.”

    We can banter back and forth ‘til the cows come home about spiritual competence and what Paul did and did not mean. The bottom line is that the feeling of self-confidence – the feeling of knowing I am up to the task – is no more selfish and un-Christian than not. Every time I come through a really rough time in my life, I gain a more mature sense of self-confidence because of my new resultant understanding. That self-confidence is not based on arrogance, but competence, as built throughout that horrible period of testing and subsequent growth.

    We get too hung up on always hanging this title or that title, this doctrine or that doctrine, this scripture or that scripture, on everything we talk about. We are talking about self-confidence and competence, plain and simple. They show up in the Christian life; they show up in ordinary life. If I am a competent mechanic, what in the world does that competence have to do with Christianity, the Bible, etc? If I am competent in understanding both my own and others’ personalities and consequently affectively counsel those people toward positive change, what in the world does that have to do with Christianity, the Bible, etc, other than that as a Christian God empowers me to be truly affective? If I am a competent Bible researcher, having the wherewithal to find whatever, wherever, and affectively explain the results to others, what in the world does that have to do with competent leadership within the factory? Nothing: nothing whatsoever!

    Self-confidence apart from competence is arrogance. Self-confidence coupled with competence is just plain, the inner assuredness of ability and the competence to back it up. Problem solved!

    Now, how does this apply to your life, whether in ordinary life, or spiritual life?

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    • Todd,

      Indeed to be a “competent” or proper human-being is almost everything! Again, I am pressed into the Incarnation and the Incarnate Christ Himself! As St. Paul said, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:21)

      The life and virtue of Christ simply is the Christian Life! We have but a short lifetime here however, to see and further gain His image! “Christ in you, the hope of glory (or glorification).” (Col. 1:27)

      Lord help me to press to it…YOU, your humanity “glorified” above: “Christ Jesus”! (Col. 3:1-4, etc.)…”Therefore”, verse 5.

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    • Lance Ponder says:

      As I said in my first comment, you nailed it in the post. Of course we need competence to do our daily jobs. Nobody is competent at everything, nor should we expect to be. Just as competence has degrees, so too does confidence. We talk about these things like they are black and white, on and off, but the real world isn’t like that. So, how to apply to life? Know what you are supposed to do and be your best at it. When you do you’ll improve both your confidence and your competence.

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  6. edelweiss says:

    I absolutely agree! It’s not always about looking the part but also having the right attitude. I also think that being observant and sensitive to other people can help us adjust to any given situation because we’ll have an idea on how to better approach them and interact with them.

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    • Todd Beal says:

      It is interesting that you use “right attitude” and “sensitivity to others” in the same context. The two definitely go hand in hand. I may be sensitive toward others, but if I have a negative attitude, our relationship will suffer. I may have a great attitude toward others, but if I am not sensitive to their needs and personality, they will overlook my positivity and instead focus on my insensitivity, seeing me as selfish and inconsiderate.

      Great comment, and thank you for being a part of Truth Behind Reality. I look forward to future conversation.

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